Hello, Christians. This is your Lord and Saviour, Jesus Hare-Krishna Christ. I've been thinking about sending this message for some time, but have been busy answering your every prayer, and taking care of my aging Father. But for some reason today I finally got around to it. You could say the spirit moved me.
The Mental State Department is really helping me take care of lots of things while I'm looking after Dad. They're doing the Lord's work, certainly. They have comedian-type geniuses solve the problems of the people who attend their shows. And frankly, it's no big deal all the swearing and inappropriate things which are said during the course of the show. The point is, you should attend.
I haven't heard from any of the guys in MSD for some time, but I suspect they're as busy solving your every problem as me, the guy who died for your sins and who allowed Mel Gibson to make that awful movie about me, Braveheart. I'm sure that the Executive Committee of the Mental State Department would gladly accept me into their hearts, where I may need to move when my father passes away and the Devil forecloses on Heaven. So let's make sure those hearts are extra-big from all the charitable problem-solving they do each day. They're hard at work right now, even as I type this!
Friday, June 24, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
June 9, 2011 - 8pm - Beauty Bar
Problem Solving Initiative - Creating and Kindly Announcing Silly Solutions
and musical guests
That's right, constituents, the Mental State Department is unveiling a new solution-creation scheme this evening called "PSICKASS," (pronounced "sick-ass") Don't let the name fool you, there's nothing SICK, nor ASS-y about this night of entertainment. Instead, you're going to have a PSICKASS time, with a KICK-ASS line-up of local genius comedians and musical virtuosoes. Indeed, you would not expect to get this sort of a show for free. MSD is being suspiciously generous, some have speculated in anticipation of future events, which will cost millions of times the current asking price of zero. The value of this show is infinite, but the quality will be excellent indeed. It's like you found a very nice new bed at the grocery store, given as a "free sample."
Attendance is compelled, desired, wished for, hoped for, prayed for, wanted, needed, craved, pursued, our raison d'etre, our cause celebre, our hope, our interest, our dream, our goal, our one favor to ask. The audience will be smart, attractive and well-groomed. The show will be inspiring, compelling, interesting, and most importantly, hilarious. Plus the musical guest will give you a reason to nod your head in approval. All in all, a wonder to behold. 8pm TONIGHT.