Friday, June 24, 2011

Jesus: "Attend PSICKASSII"

Hello, Christians. This is your Lord and Saviour, Jesus Hare-Krishna Christ. I've been thinking about sending this message for some time, but have been busy answering your every prayer, and taking care of my aging Father. But for some reason today I finally got around to it. You could say the spirit moved me.

The Mental State Department is really helping me take care of lots of things while I'm looking after Dad. They're doing the Lord's work, certainly. They have comedian-type geniuses solve the problems of the people who attend their shows. And frankly, it's no big deal all the swearing and inappropriate things which are said during the course of the show. The point is, you should attend.

I haven't heard from any of the guys in MSD for some time, but I suspect they're as busy solving your every problem as me, the guy who died for your sins and who allowed Mel Gibson to make that awful movie about me, Braveheart. I'm sure that the Executive Committee of the Mental State Department would gladly accept me into their hearts, where I may need to move when my father passes away and the Devil forecloses on Heaven. So let's make sure those hearts are extra-big from all the charitable problem-solving they do each day. They're hard at work right now, even as I type this!

Attend the Second Coming of PSICKASS, PSICKASSII, on July 14th at 8pm at the Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE MLK

Doors open at 7:30, and it would be wise to show up early to get a seat. Tickets are $5 at the door, or $0 in advance (advance tickets may only be obtained through the MSD Executive Committee, not through Curious Comedy Theater.) Now please excuse me, but I need to get back to my dying father. Dad? Uhm... dad...

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Tonight - PSICKASS

June 9, 2011 - 8pm - Beauty Bar

Problem Solving Initiative - Creating and Kindly Announcing Silly Solutions

Whitney Streed
Phil Schallberger
Danny Norton

and musical guests


That's right, constituents, the Mental State Department is unveiling a new solution-creation scheme this evening called "PSICKASS," (pronounced "sick-ass") Don't let the name fool you, there's nothing SICK, nor ASS-y about this night of entertainment. Instead, you're going to have a PSICKASS time, with a KICK-ASS line-up of local genius comedians and musical virtuosoes. Indeed, you would not expect to get this sort of a show for free. MSD is being suspiciously generous, some have speculated in anticipation of future events, which will cost millions of times the current asking price of zero. The value of this show is infinite, but the quality will be excellent indeed. It's like you found a very nice new bed at the grocery store, given as a "free sample."

Attendance is compelled, desired, wished for, hoped for, prayed for, wanted, needed, craved, pursued, our raison d'etre, our cause celebre, our hope, our interest, our dream, our goal, our one favor to ask. The audience will be smart, attractive and well-groomed. The show will be inspiring, compelling, interesting, and most importantly, hilarious. Plus the musical guest will give you a reason to nod your head in approval. All in all, a wonder to behold. 8pm TONIGHT.